


what would it take for you to believe?

by vinndetta



Series: star-crossed lovers [2]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Bisexual Ross O'Donovan, Character Study, Drabble, Gen, introspective piece
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 22:14:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18186308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinndetta/pseuds/vinndetta
Summary: He wonders, sometimes, what it would take to make Arin Hanson believe in himself again.





	what would it take for you to believe?

**Author's Note:**

> note: beginning two parts are excerpts from what i believe is chapter 2 of "the best bananas will be ripe with time"
> 
> anyway, enjoy this! :)

 

> _Sometimes, in the room next door, Ross thinks he hears distant sobbing._
> 
> _But unsure of what's happening, unsure if he's imagining the noises that he thinks he hears through the walls, unsure if it's his place to even say anything, Ross stays put in his own room._
> 
> _Although he's concerned for his friend, he doesn't know what will help him. He just hopes that one day, he'll know what will._
> 
> _-_
> 
> _Sometimes, when Arin isn't looking, Ross likes to take in every detail of the joy on his friend's face._
> 
> _This is the Arin that he wants to stick around. Ross knows that it's unrealistic, but he just wants his friend to have happiness in his life. Wanting his old friend back would be impossible, but he wants to see his friend be happy._
> 
> _He wonders, sometimes, what would it take to make Arin Hanson believe in himself again._

-

Sometimes, Ross likes to think about Arin Hanson.

It sounds weird out of context, but he's not really feeling up to joking about it right now. This isn't a joke, not at the rate that this is going. Yes, he's the kind of guy that likes to laugh things off and make everything into a joke, but that's just a show. When it comes to serious things, he takes things seriously. And this is absolutely serious.

It's not a gay thing, either. As much as he thinks that Arin's a great guy, Ross can't even begin to imagine what it'd be like to date his best friend. Arin would probably make an awesome boyfriend (he's funny, awesome, and hot as hell), but Ross can't find any hint of romantic affection when he looks at Arin.

(He's bisexual, yes, but he hasn't even come out in the first place. Besides, Arin hasn't been showing any signs of ... homosexual tendencies, to put it lightly. He's had a girlfriend, but he's never mentioned an interest in other genders. Both of them have never asked, and have never told. It's probably going to stay that way, anyway.)

No, he's _worried_ about his best friend.

Ross knows Arin like the back of his hand -- that is to say, not as well as you might think. Or, as well as he should, anyway.

You see, the back of your hand is always there. There might be a scar or two that you'll notice (like the time that Ross decided that it was a great idea in Chemistry class to draw a mark on his hand over and over again until it actually left a permanent mark/skin bump on his hand), but are you consciously aware of it? Do you memorize the patterns of your skin, the way the skin stretches and pulls at every move? Do you take time to see how the shapes and the lines on the skin move with each other with every movement of the hands' muscles? Do you just stare at your hands, trying to ingrain a photographic memory of how it looks? Are you able to describe in detail how every centimeter looks and feels?

No, you don't pay attention to those kinds of things. Who has time to consciously be aware of every part of your body, to memorize every single feature on every inch of your skin?

No, people are busy. People have things to do, people to see, places to be.

And unfortunately, Ross found himself in this cycle.

Ross found himself staring at his best friend one day, and realizing that he was in a whole other universe.

And Ross hadn't even _noticed_.

(Okay, that was a bit melodramatic, but... you get the picture.)

No, what Ross wants to say is that... well... Arin's going through something.

Arin hasn't had the most perfect life -- Ross has been there through some of it, moving to the States as a teenager, meeting Arin online, and meeting him in person. But Arin's been through hard times, with mental health issues and relationships and --

Ross doesn't want to blame himself, but he sort of wants to, for some reason.

He was the one who introduced Arin to Leigh Schwartz that day. He was the one who saw that Arin was bummed out by the loss of his first girlfriend, so he tried to distract him with his own presence. He was the one who saw that Arin had lost the first love of his life, and tried to introduce him to something that he immediately hooked onto, given his obsessive personality. He was the one who watched as Arin slowly became dragged into an obsessive spiral. He was the one who stood by as he slowly started to fall deep into some sort of mental health slump. He was the one who got so wrapped up in himself that he let himself idle by as Arin started to drift away from him.

No, he knows it's not really his fault, but now he feels trapped in some sort of limbo.

Because he doesn't know what to do about this.

It sounds simple -- talk to Arin, figure out what's happening, and stick with him. Then, everything will be back to normal in no time.

But he can't.

He can't bring himself to do such a simple thing... ( _some friend he is_ , he bitterly thinks to himself)

He doesn't even know what's happening. And he knows that a good friend should try their best to help out. That's what a good friend -- no -- a best friend does. He doesn't know what will help him out of this. Arin's going through problems, but he doesn't know what they are or what to do or how to handle it.

(He hears the tears and the sobs sometimes, but he chose to ignore it, to pretend that maybe they're just his imagination, but now those sounds are making his way into his life to haunt him, as if to taunt him for not doing anything for Arin...)

Ross just wants his friend back. Arin, the cool kid that he met online that was doing awesome things for his age. Arin, the nice boy who told the bullies to go away (in nice and not-so-nice terms). Arin, the awesome pal who always stuck by him, no matter what was happening.

And when Arin needed him most... he just kept his distance.

He had failed Arin, and he didn't know what to do.

Because it may be platonic, but Ross loves when Arin's face lights up or a smile blooms on his face. Ross just wants him to find happiness; isn't that what every good friend wants? He knows that people change, so having the old Arin back would be impossible unless he created a time machine. But he wants Arin to find love, whether that be in someone else, himself, or even the world. In fact, all of the above would be the ideal possibility.

Arin deserves so much more. Ross can see that, but Arin seems so blind to it right now.

Ross nods. He knows what to do.

He's going to be a better friend.

He's going to help out Arin in any way possible. He's going to insert himself into Arin's life again slowly. He's going to become more involved in his life, because they're friends, and that's what friends do. Friends stick together. He's going to find Arin again, and he's going to help them both find happiness.

Because he doesn't quite have the solution. He doesn't know what will help, or if there's a single solution that will make everything disappear.

But one day, he'll figure out exactly what's going to help Arin.

-

So, when Arin starts to talk about this new celebrity, Ross raises an eyebrow.

Dan Avidan, huh...?

Interesting.

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello! i hope you liked this! some notes:  
> -uh the chemistry class thing? i did that. im a big dumbass. ..............................oops.  
> -oof i know i should be working on other fics/this series in general but OOF i had my last final today so i decided to spit this out for all of you. it's something i've wanted to write for a long time, but i was thinking about doing it after the main part was over. but uh, i guess not anymore lol  
> -the second part will lead up to the scene where ross confronts arin in his room. hopefully you'll be able to tell if i intertwine these stories properly lol
> 
> anyway, thank you so much for reading. if you enjoyed, kudos/comments mean everything to me! i also have a ko-fi under the name "vinndetta" if you'd like to support my writing! xoxo have a great day!


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